In the famous play, Our Town, by author Thornton Wilder, there is a quote that has been echoed many a time for man to ponder. It reads, “Do any human beings ever realize life while they live it?- every, every minute?”
This quote came to me today as I sat thinking, caught in a storm of nostalgic memories that has become the recent forecast for my mind. As this is the month dedicated to being thankful for all the good things God has given us, I felt it appropriate to share some things that have graced my memory, leaving me thankful.
I have been flooded with many memories from my childhood in Angel Fire. The people, the church in which I basically spent every day of my youth, the majestic mountains, and the snow that took the city captive for nine months out of the year. I had a wonderful childhood. I didn’t necessarily enjoy the “finer things of life,” in the same sense some might have, but I was tremendously blessed (monetarily and otherwise). I grew up with loving parents, a living and active church family, close siblings, and many opportunities to grow and learn. I know I had many hard times growing up, everyone does, but I am so very thankful for the beautiful memories of my childhood.
I have also thought a great deal about my time spent in Missouri. When I first moved to Missouri, if you had asked me if I would ever come to love it, I would have responded with an emphatic, “NO!” However, now living elsewhere, I can honestly say I miss the area and have come to love my time spent there. I was blessed with a great high school that introduced me to many of my passions, including theater. I created many friendships that I will never forget. I completed college in MO. I grew into a new church family there. I started my journey of teaching there. I learned to appreciate the beauty of scenic nature and winding country roads. I experienced the pain and freedom of independence, and the humility of being broken and restored by God’s mercy… I grew up a lot in those Ozark hills, and I am so very thankful for all that I experience and learned in that season of my life.
The people of my past have also played a great role in this storm of nostalgia. I have thought an immense amount about my parents. How supportive and self-sacrificing they are. How God has used them to teach and mold me. I smile at the memories of them being silly or living out their passion for Christ. I remember the times in which I first started seeing them as people, not just parents. These memories are not as soft and light as those mentioned before, but necessary for me to appreciate them as the people God created them to be. I have thought about my mother and her delicate and discerning heart. I have thought about my father and his overwhelming wisdom and compassion. I have tremendous parents, truly tremendous. I am fully aware that I am the woman I am today, thanks in big part to their stewardship in raising me. I am understatedly thankful for them and their role as leaders in my life.
I have also thought a great deal about my siblings. I have three siblings, two sisters and a brother. I now live closer to my older sister and my brother-in-law (whom I call a brother as well). I consider this a great blessing to get to know them better. I have not lived close to my older sister for over ten years, and her husband is still somewhat new to the family. He is a blessing, and I enjoy getting to see life through his eyes and vast experiences. My sister is a new mother, and I have enjoyed watching her grow in mature into this role with grace. She has learned so much, and I enjoy learning from her. My younger sister and brother live with my parents in Missouri. My younger sister is a beautiful, vivacious woman. She is full of presence and even more so of talent. She has so much ahead of her in life, and I get excited just thinking of how God is going to use her. My brother is a high school senior this year, and although I still see him as a nine-year-old, squirrely boy in my head, he is growing into an insanely handsome and godly young man. And talk about talent! He, too, is bursting with many gifts and a beautiful heart. Great things await him, I have no doubt….Just thinking of the beautiful people God has given me in my siblings brings me to tears. They are amazing people, and I have had the chance to share life with them! I feel very thankful for them.
I have also thought a great deal about my friends. I can honestly say that I have the blessing of being able to claim many people as my friends. Some I have known the entirety of my life (24 years as friends is an outstanding number!) Some I have known around 10 years, and some for less. All of which, I count as blessings and have an endless amount of memories that I have shared. They have all taught me so much! They bring variety into my life and stretch me to grow. I’ve shared my heart with these men and women and they have given me the blessing of sharing theirs. I love them all dearly and tearfully write that I am immensely thankful for them.
Oddly enough, in regards to the people I have thought a great deal about, I have spent many moments remembering the guys/friends from my past dating relationships. All of which have left a lasting impact. As I wrote above, I considered these men friends, and while God did not allow our relationships to grow into more, I love these men as my brothers in Christ. I wish them well, and pray for their mercy in forgiving any wrong or hurt I may have caused them. They’ve all taught me a great deal and have helped shaped me in so many ways. I will be honest and say that my memories of them, although mostly good, break my heart for many reasons…..nevertheless, I am thankful to have shared even a small part of life with them.
In addition to people, places, and life stages, I have thought about more random moments. Moments from trips, moments from illnesses, moments from productions, moments from jobs, and most recently, moments from holidays. I have thought about my extended family and the warm and wonderful memories we create around the holidays. The brief time we get to spend catching up and showing love to one another. I treasure these times. They are some of my most fond and lasting memories. Perhaps that is why I love the holidays so much……but more on that at a later date.
Not all of the memories I have remembered are pleasant, directly due to the fact that not all of my life has been as great as the things I have mentioned above. I have had my dark days….dark months in the case of one recent season of my life, but I count these times as blessings as well. I am thankful for them. In James 1:2 it states, “Consider it a great joy, my brothers, whenever you experience various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance.” I have seen this played out in my life, and while it has left a mark, I am better for it. I rejoice in the fact that God wants to see me mature so much that He takes the time to work out the sin in me.
It is easy to see that many memories have had time to parade across my mind recently. Their presence has been enjoyed, and yet mourned. I have enjoyed “realizing life….-every, every minute.” I have been blessed by recognizing all that God has bestowed upon my short life, and I am humbled that He has given me these experiences. In the same token, it makes me a bit melancholy. While I recognize these moments now, I didn’t always recognize them as they happened and there are many of these things I wish still existed in my life today. I guess that is just part of living though, “to everything there is a season….” I am thankful for them all the same, and thankful that at one point in my life they came to pass. Praise God for the blessings He bestows upon His children……How He loves!
Thoughtfully,
RDM
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