In the classic fairy tale of Snow White, there is a famous scene involving an evil Queen starring into a magical mirror. The Queen, in order to secure her status as fairest in the land, asks the mirror a question, “Mirror, mirror on the wall. Who’s the fairest of them all?” She, for many years, saw herself in the mirror’s image and was pleased. However, one day, she saw in the mirror the face of another more pure and fair than she, the face of Snow White. This disheartened the Queen and in a jealous rage she set out to kill this pure beauty that took her place in the mirror’s reflection. Throughout the story, the Queen desperately tries to kill Snow White through evil plots and misleading disguises, but in the end, she herself was killed by her own vanity.
Why am I retelling this age-old classic? Well, unfortunately, I see myself in the same position as the Queen in many ways. Let me explain….
As of late, I have found myself lacking in motivation, joy, peace, and creativity. It comes as no surprise that I discovered this lack luster attitude around the same time as I noticed my time with the Lord becoming stifled. It only makes sense that my wellspring of life is not bubbling over due to a drought in its source. Before I can better share what is on my heart, I must relay some background information.
Until the present, I have been surprisingly more joyous, more patient, creatively productive, and dare I say, peaceful. I have been a new version of myself, a surprising improvement to my normal countenance. The reflection I saw in the mirror was not my own, and initially, unlike the Queen, I was enjoying the view.
I can honestly admit this appreciation of the differing face in the mirror was no doing of my own, and due to my recent regression, I am reassured in this admittance. I loved the changes I was saw. They were a direct reflection of the One on which I placed my focus; the One I was allowing to consume me. The One I have recently squelched due to my redirected focus, the focus I have sinfully placed on me. I have vainly decided to see my own reflection again, and instead of turning my gaze I can feel myself embracing the Queen’s mentality.
When I moved several months ago, the Lord allowed me to go through an abrupt identity-crisis. In all honesty, this identity-crisis has actually been taking place over the past two years, but the pinnacle was revealed in my move. Upon moving, I stepped out in faith and landed in a foreign world. A world that quickly and directly humbled me and caused me to realize my vast ignorance. I had none of the normal comforts I was used to; none of the constants I had clung to. I knew little and questioned much. It was life-changing, and one of the best things to ever happen to me. My faith was challenged. No more waxing eloquent about God and what He was doing in my life or going to do. It was a time of living out my faith with action. No more clinging to accomplishments, possessions, or connections to bring me worth. I had only One thing to define me. No more worrying about tomorrow because today certainly did have enough troubles of its own. I felt crazy. I felt absolutely out of control…..and I was! You see, during this time of redefining, I was losing my “balance” and embracing the unknown. I was trusting in God completely, possibly for the first time.
Inevitably my whole perspective on life changed during this time. It only made sense that I was craving the One who was bringing me security, and taking time to marvel in His provisions. It’s only plausible that my days were spent wrapped up in more joy, patience, and creativity. My perspective was on Christ and His goodness, and my concept of time was warped into living each moment for His glory and not looking to the next. I didn’t worry as much because God was in control, and time with Him was more important than the tasks at hand. I can honestly say I have never felt more ignorant and more of a mess, and yet, I can honestly say I have never felt more alive!
Now, please understand that I don’t write any of this to brag about myself, or to claim any authority on life and wisdom. The thought of portraying either of these things makes my heart sick. I am writing this to bring glory to the One who is painstakingly doing a work in me. I have not done anything good, for am not good. I am simply acknowledging the One whom I am trying to reflect. If you look back to the first paragraph you will see I am already slipping from the very perspective I was gaining. As I stated before, I am unmotivated, lacking creativity, and cannot seem to live in peace and joy. I am more quick to anger, and cannot think enough about the future trials I might face. My perspective has shifted back, and this breaks my heart.
Thinking back on it, I can see the traces of the shift; the traces of the thoughts and actions that made me kin to the Queen. I can recall the times that I have allowed myself to focus on things of this world; things that make no difference to God and His amount of love for me. Things that might make me more appealing to others, or things that I think, mistakenly, will help me gain status in people’s minds; the sneaky types of things that the enemy uses to slyly pull our focus off Christ and onto ourselves. Money, material objects, relationships, appearance, health, and even religion. And as I started to focus more on these menial things my perspective was taken off Christ causing me to stop reflecting Him and start reflecting my worldly-self. In a desperate attempt to gain control and fill the emptiness that comes with focusing on oneself, I started to cling to things that I thought would satisfy and improve me, which only caused me to focus more on myself. It’s a vicious cycle, trying to save oneself. It’s bitter and fruitless, and tangibly proves a skewed perspective. There is a solution however. In Colossians 3:2 it states, “Set your minds on what is above, not on what is on the earth.” Also know as, focusing on God in all His majesty, and striving to meditate on His perfect will and view of your life in Christ. This is the key to changing your perspective and renewing your wellspring of life, and this is the key to putting to death the Queen mentality. I cannot say, however, it is an easy switch.
Think about it….as believers in Christ, we are to “put on” Christ, and through the Holy Spirit we are seen as pure and righteous in God’s sight. The more we focus on Him and His righteousness (what is above), the more we reflect Christ and not only our perspectives change, but other’s perspectives of us change. However, the more we focus on ourselves, the less we see a reflection of Christ, and the less others see Him in us. We have a choice, just as the Queen did when she realized she was not the fairest in the land. We can admit we are not the fairest after all and humbly marvel in the One who is allowing our hearts to focus and reflect the purity of Him. Or, we can give into our flesh, and set out in a jealous rage to cling to ourselves and our false idea of beauty, desperately trying to destroy any rival to our throne.
So, you tell me….Mirror, mirror on the wall, who’s the fairest of them all?
I pray for us all that the reflection we see appear is not our own.
With peace,
RDM
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