Throughout the bible we are challenged to let our words be few, actions big, and to listen intently. In James chapter three, we are given a better understanding of how deceitful and deadly our tongues can be, and how we can cause grave danger when we use them selfishly. I am afraid God has had to teach me this first-hand today…I feel terrible, and the root of my discomfort is my own tongue. I ask you, how can you win an argument against a man who is quick of tongue?....I can tell you the answer isn’t to try to out talk him. One poisonous tongue versus another doesn’t do good for either party. You might as well be dueling with pistols; the injuries will be geared toward the same organ, the heart.
Where is all this coming from you might ask? Let me paint you a picture of the event. Recently I found myself in a heated conversation. This conversation was composed of two hurt and confused people trying to make the other understand and accept their point of view. The outcome was devastating. I can honestly say nothing was accomplished, save two broken hearts. The conversation reeked of poor communication from both parties. It was one side seeking to control the others perspective….the enemy must have been truly overjoyed at our folly. It was a mess, a total and complete mess. It reminded me of that anecdote when the storyteller warns those listening not to try and rescue a drowning victim if they won’t stop flaying because they will surely take you down in their panic. The scary thing is that we were both drowning in this situation….
So again I ask, how can you win an argument against a man who is quick of tongue? In my humble opinion, and I do mean humble, there is only one thing you can do. You stop talking and start praying. It is easy to lash back and try, yet again, to make yourself clear, but ultimately that will only lead to more ammunition for the other hunger mouth. If you can lay down your weapon and humble yourself before the Lord, you will find that although you may suffer injury, you are surrendering to the only one who can actually win the fight. To keep talking might lead to your winning the battle, but at what cost. You should not be fighting to kill the heart of this other person; it should be to speak truth. I can guarantee speaking truth is impossible without the One who is truth, and He isn’t interested in dueling tongue wars.
There are a few disclaimers I must make at this point. I am in no way claiming that you should just roll over and let yourself be a rug. I don’t believe God asks us to do that, but He does command we put our brother first. If you know that you are standing for truth, speak it in love. However, if you are only working out of a selfish agenda (hurt, anger, control, self-righteousness) then you need to shut up and surrender. Christ commanded us to turn the other cheek. Let Him take it from here…it is your only chance to win and be loving to a brother.
Now, if the other person does not want to hear truth in love, you dust your feet off and lift them up in prayer as you walk away from the situation. In Luke chapter ten, when Jesus was sending out the seventy He asks them to greet each town with the intent to share the gospel of truth. If they choose not to listen, He said for them to leave, wiping the dust of the town off their feet as left. I believe their message was a bit more important than making themselves heard. It wasn’t their battle to win, just to speak truth. You are NOT responsible for people. You are responsible TO God.
You see, the reason the tongue is so dangerous is due to its direct relation to the heart. Our hearts overflow onto our tongues and spew out on those around us. Matthew 15:17-18 states, “’Don’t you realize that whatever goes into the mouth passes into the stomach and is eliminated. But what comes out of the mouth comes from the heart, and this defiles a man.” Our hearts, even when possessing the Holy Spirit, are fickle, self-serving entities. That is why we must be slow to speak and submit ourselves daily to the Lord. This is done in the hope of safeguarding against the damage we can do.
I must be clear, I encourage boldness. I need to be more bold. I am not advocating a passive heart and mouth, but I am offering an active strive to have a patient and humbled tongue. Don’t be lukewarm. Be strong in the truth God has given, but slow to speak with the tool in which you have to speak it. I must warn it isn’t easy deciphering between our take on God’s truth and God’s truth. They are by no means the same. Seek first the kingdom….I encourage you brother and sister in your journey to tame the tongue….
Sincerely,
RDM
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